JABBERWOCKY Opening Scene - part six |
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Father Why do
they pick on you Ned? Ned I don't
know dad. They can't find anyone else I suppose! Father You should try to stand up to 'em a
bit more son. Show them what you're made of. Ned (He looks ruefully at his
handkerchief.) I think that they're trying to find that out for
themselves! Father But do you give as good
as you get? Ned He
hurt his hand when he hit me this time! Father It's
no good lad. We really will have to try and do something about you. If you're
going to get yourself into these scrapes then you've got to learn how to look
after yourself. We could start by building up your muscles a bit - and that's
where this present I've bought you comes in. Ned (Interested)
A present! What have you got me dad? Father (Impressively) This! (He produces the barbell.) Ned Oh
... oh? (Genuinely
confused) What is it? Father It's
a barbell son. Ned Mmmmmm
... . What does it do dad? Father Oh
dear ... it doesn't do anything Ned. It's what you do with it! Ned Oh
...what do you ...? Father Don't
bother - I'll show you. You use it to strengthen your muscles. Half an hour's
exercise with this every day and you'll soon notice the difference. Here's what
you do: (he proceeds to demonstrate the 'perfect lift') you stand over it like this; bend
down; grab hold of it - remember to keep your back nice and straight - and then
heave! (He lifts the weight easily)
See - that's all there is to it! Ned I
don't think that I'm going to be very good at this. Father Nonsense.
Come on, you have a go now. (Reluctantly Ned approaches the barbell)
Of course this one is only light but you can build up to heavier ones later.
Now, take hold of the bar, bend your knees, (Ned does so)
and lift! Ned I already am lifting! (The
barbell remains firmly on the ground.) Father Well ... don't try to lift it over
your head; up to your shoulders will do. Ned (Breaking
off his attempt) You don't think that we're being^ a bit ambitious do
you dad? Father Come
on son, you've got to put some effort into it if you want to be big and strong
like me. I mean, what could I have done the day the dragon came if I had been
all thin and weedy? (What follows is an obviously well rehearsed
routine, which Ned imitates in the background) Oooh, I
remember it just like yesterday: the fiery breath, the monstrous roar and the
reek and stench of its foul body as it pounced on top of me! Any man would be
frightened by such a sight, and I was - but not so frightened that I didn't
know what to do! A kind of icy calm came over me then as quick as a flash - so
fast that even I was surprised! - I got my pitchfork and thrust it into the
beast's belly. The scream of that creature as it crashed to the ground beside
me will live in my memory forever. It was horrible - all sort of angry and sad
at the same time... (He ponders this point) horrible.
Anyway, if I hadn't had the strength to kill it, it would have burnt the
village to the ground and most likely slaughtered all of us. Do you see my
point? Ned Yes dad. Father So
come on; another go. (Ned prepares himself) Ready?
Right’ now heave! Ned (Straining with the effort)
Eeee urghh! (The weight does not move) Father Heave! Ned I'm heaving! I'm heaving!
Eeurghh! (Mother enters holding a tray
with assorted dishes etc. As soon as she sees what is happening she rushes over
to just behind Ned) Mother Edmund,
Edmund! What are you doing? Stop it at once! |
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