Opening Scene - part four
Father (A little embarrassed) Err ... quiet ... Peaceful.
Mother Nothing out of the ordinary then?
Father How do you mean?
Mother Well, no dragons for instance?
Father No ... No dragons.
Mother We haven't actually had a dragon for... oooh, the last fifteen years have we? Do correct me if I'm wrong.
Father No, but then again...
Mother In fact we've only had the one dragon in the last two hundred and fifteen years.
Father (Squirming) Ah yes, but...
Mother And even then it was only a small dragon.
Father Look, are you getting at something?
Mother I just think that it's about time you got yourself a proper job, that's all.
Father I've got a proper job!
Mother 'The Official Village Dragon Slayer'! It's ridiculous.
Father There's a lot of responsibility involved.
Mother But there are no dragons!
Father That's beside the point. If ever there was one - it would be up to me to deal with it.
Mother And what's supposed to happen in a few more years’ time? You're not getting any younger you know.
Father Well that's where Ned comes in. It’s an hereditary post; he will be the Dragon Slayer after me.
Mother He will not.
Father (Ignoring her.) Of course we'll have to beef him up a bit first. You have to be tough to kill dragons.
Mother Edmund will do no such thing. I won't have a son of mine doing anything so preposterous!
Father Oh? And what will you have a 'son of yours' doing?
Mother Something much more compatible with his nature; he's a sensitive and delicate child. His future lies with his brains - not brawn. I feel that he would make a good poet.
Father (Explosively) What!
Mother Or perhaps a minstrel. He would mix with such a better class of person at court.
Father My son, a versemonger! Over my dead body. Imagine what the neighbours would say. I wouldn't be able to show my face in the tavern again
Mother Well what a blessing that would be!
Father (Ignoring the comment.) If it wasn't for your pampering and molly–coddling, Ned wouldn't be so sensitive and delicate. The way you fuss over him all the time you'll turn him into a right sissy!
Mother Simply because I want him to appreciate some of the finer things in life and to learn some refinement I don't think that I'm being fussy.
Father 'The finer things of life'! What good will that do him? He needs to be strong and manly I tell you - not some feeble poet.
Mother And what sort of shining example are you? Well let me tell you... (There is the sound of a heavy door opening and closing.)
Father Shhhh, that's Ned now.
Mother (Emphatically) Edmund.
Father (Calling) Hello Ned! We were just talking about you.